Glasses
by Serpentseeker
Summary: My glasses are my shield. They led to my cage. Harry reflects. Oneshot.


Disclaimer: I own nothing.

**xxxXxxx**

Glasses.

Many people who have them loathe them. They think they are ugly and annoying, especially when you lose them and you can't see. I love my glasses. Why, you may ask? After all, I'm not bad looking without my glasses.

_My glasses are my shield._

My eyes hide behind them. They can't see the emotions in my eyes when my glasses cover them. My glasses shield that. If they looked closer they would be able to see. But they don't bother looking. After all, I'm famous. Why would I feel hurt, sadness, depression? Why would I experience emotions linked to a human being? I'm a hero. Heroes aren't supposed to be human.

_They think I'm invincible._

But that's not the point. I love my glasses because when I don't have them on, I have the brief thrill of not seeing. Not seeing what happens around me. The pain, the fear. I don't see their disappointed faces, their accusing stares. They get mixed together in a blur, making it impossible to make out anything.

_But sometimes, that is my downfall._

I make the mistake of thinking that because I can't see them that well, they don't see me. They see sadness and despair in my eyes. They scold me for feeling sad. After all, the saviour can't be depressed. He's got be perfect. But then I smile, assure them I'm okay and they never see past the act.

_But I want them to._

I want them to help me. To show that I'm not alone. That I can defeat Voldemort and be human again, feel happiness, joy, have a full nights sleep. But that can't happen. Even if I defeat Voldemort, the nightmares will remain.

_Sometimes, I don't want their help._

Their help is useless. They claim to know me, but they don't. Do they know my favourite colour? Food? Band? How can they help if they don't know me? How can they help me even if they do know me? It's too late now.

_How can I help myself?_

I can't help myself. Simple. I know what I want. Nothing dramatic. I want words of praise from Sirius. I want him to see me, Harry, not James Potter or the Boy-Who-Lived. I want one more thing. One simple thing, yet it the most difficult thing to gain.

_I want a hug._

Pathetic, you're thinking. But I want a hug. Simple. I want Sirius to hug me, to show that he cares, that he wants to help me. Just a single hug after a nightmare. That's all I want. Why do I have to want the impossible?

_I want them to see me._

Just Harry, like I told Hagrid years ago. Not their saviour. I want them to see, to realize that I'm just a boy! I can't take it! Why don't they see me! Why do they have to pin their hopes on me, then get mad when I screw up?

_Who's there for me?_

Ron's got his family, and Hermione. Hermione's got her parents and Ron. They started dating. Remus doesn't see me either. Sirius is god-knows where, unable to see past the hype and my fathers face. McGonagall's got all of Gryffindor. Dumbledore's got the whole school to look after.

_I hate Dumbledore._

He left me with the Dursleys. He's never there when I need him. He barely tells me anything. He sees me as some sort of hero, a perfect little tool.

_He stole my shield._

He said I needed contacts, saying that if I lost my glasses in battle, I would be useless. He took my shield, chucked it in the bin and handed these things to me, telling, no, _ordering _me to wear them. He doesn't care. Why should he?

_What can I do?_

Suicide? No. If I was found and saved they would watch me, hound me, asking why. Run away? They'd find me. Say what I think? They'd say I was tired and needed to sleep. What can I do?

Nothing.

I am trapped. This cage they built for me, which I willingly backed into. They shut the door, locked it and threw away the key. I am trapped for eternity until I die.

My glasses were my shield. And they led me to my cage.

**xxxXxxx**

Well, this didn't turn out they way I expected, but nothing ever does, does it? Please review. You know you want to. I need reviews. (They make me warm on the cold nights we have here at the moment.) Please?


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